It isn’t being negative per se. It’s being resigned to everything. It’s no longer feeling. It’s not knowing. It’s the lack of grieving.



For all that it’s worth, I hope you never forget. I hope you never stop questioning. I hope you never settle.

Two Bottles

I’m usually an honest human being, that’s given. Except that I do lie to myself a lot. At the moment, I’m convincing myself that the saxophone is just sexy hence I’m repeatedly playing… Continue reading

May 3

I want to have time for you but we both know how impossible that is.   — Me to writing. — Me to you.


I would only be at peace if I know you are extremely happy — the type that you can’t compare to ours. Why? Because I’m not the bitter person to be angry or jealous of some new girl when I know she’s the one meant for you.

I don’t really care if she loves you less, I just hope she loves you right.

This is why it didn’t work

Thing is, no matter how many times I write about this, it’s not going to wear off. I know for a fact that I’ve been denying and resisting what happened in the past. Gravity tells me to just reconnect but I won’t. It’s futile to fight gravity, I know that. I also know that if I would be stupid and just follow my guts and not even think about it for a brief moment, I would have responded to your stupid messages. The only reason I won’t is because I’m saving myself. How frustrating is it to know you can love someone but not let yourself do so because you know it’s not going to work?

If He Wanted To Be With You, He Would Be With You

It’s a hard pill to swallow. But the truth is going to heal your heart a lot faster than simply letting it break over and over until you finally face what you knew… Continue reading


You are the last strokes I make before I dip my brush to a new paint, the last words before a new page, the last chords that closes my song.


I have told myself again and again that I am desensitized. I’m not. Who am I kidding? My brain resorts to you when there’s nothing else to think about. It’s your absence in my life that I have realized I still am, perhaps after all this time, into you.


7:47 AM: It’s already almost an hour since I came here. There’s only the sound of the aircon humming and the frequent rolling of the housekeeping’s carts. Other than that, it’s a complete… Continue reading