In defeat.

There it goes — there goes the rain falling so hard, I can hear it despite the headphones covering my ears. There goes my wearies too, falling like the rain.

It’s a quiet night except for the very loud noise inside my head. I have been struggling lately with my mind, you see. It’s been difficult to let the words flow like they used to. Everything’s just bottled up here and it seems endless to deal with each voice.

I’m sorry. I’m not making any sense, am I? I guess I have forgotten how it feels to give time to my thoughts. I guess I have forgotten how to feel. It’s not as if I’m numb– no. It’s the complexity of my emotions that keeps me from finding the right words to narrate my story. I am tired. I am stressed. I am burnt out. I feel detached. I feel devoid.

I feel empty.

I am so lost.

 

(Save me.)

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