I woke up today surprisingly feeling refreshed. I felt happy– just the plain kind of happiness and I found myself smiling for no particular reason. After doing some thinking on how I should go on with my life, I decided to pray. And, like many other times, I prayed for you.
I have had long conversations with myself. (As you can see, this blog lasted for many years already.) I thought of all the love(rs) I had before and my thoughts led to you. I asked myself for the umpteenth time, am I ready?
And today, I thought to myself, maybe I am. Not entirely, I guess, because I bet God has probably made a way for us to find each other but I wanted to tell you, I haven’t felt as complete as before. There are, admittedly, little questions I still want to answer but nothing of big deal that I’d lose sleep over.
I don’t know when I will meet you but I have full trust that I would recognise you in the best moment, in the best possible place, in perfect timing. I know love always make a way and hey, what do we know, right? Maybe I’ll find you, or maybe you’d find me. I have always thought meeting the love of your life would mean sparks or millions of butterflies fluttering in my stomach. But, believe me, I have met lots of people who made me see fireworks and shooting stars the moment I met them but it just didn’t click after. The butterflies seem to flew away after some time. So I guess, it’s not always the case? Maybe you would come more discretely– perhaps in a love song, in a joyous prayer, or in sad tears on a shoulder I cried upon. Maybe I would recognise you like a click, an eye contact, or a friendly hug. Maybe I would fall faster than I ever had. Maybe I would fall faster than I would notice.
I don’t know you. Not yet. But I do hope I see you soon. There are lots of amazing things going on in my life (amidst the not so amazing ones, but again, what’s life without the downside?) and you’re the perfect person to share it with– together with the other people I love: my family (by blood or by choice), my friends, workmates, among others.
If there’s one thing, I hope we share a great love: a love greater than our misunderstandings and disagreements. I hope our love transcends possibilities, choices, and circumstance. I hope, before we find each other, we find ourselves first. Because it is in being complete alone that we are able to truly love someone else. It is in loving ourselves first that we learn to give ourselves to others.