Day 8145

I was searching my hard drive for any file that I might have missed transferring to my macbook. The funny thing is, I haven’t scavenged for files for the last two years because the first time was, I was busy with thesis (after which, I just wanted to take a break) and the second time was, I was extremely busy with work (which continued for the rest of 2016).

So, after looking through almost every folder, seeing photos with my college friends/ org mates, brods and sisses, even adorably-nostalgic-yet-cringe-worthy photos of me and my ex, I realized one thing: there are a lot of things I have forgotten. There are lots of memories that were stuck in that hard drive instead of my brain.

This year has been full of trying to establish myself before anything or anyone else — a few slips, yes, but I can definitely say I made it through 2016. Despite being the year that has given me much (professional and I guess some emotional) growth, this year was challenging. There was still a constant battle in my head on doing the right things, on going after what I really loved, and of knowing when to let go. I was consistently torn on whether or not I should be pursuing dreams, people, careers, that have a softer spot in my heart or just stay where I am at first and wait and see how the paths would unroll for me. After all, I was (or still am) a believer of whatever’s meant to be will be.

So today, I am thankful for what the year has given me and where this year brought me. Today, I am thankful for the year that has been. I am thankful for family (whether it be by blood or by choice), for new friends, new beginnings, and all the opportunities. I am thankful for learning about myself more than anything else. Today, I promise to make 2017 a year of happiness and growth.

In memory of my dear friends taken by depression, Cara and Bianca, thank you for being a constant reminder to be sunshine in someone else’s life. And that suffering or being in pain doesn’t mean we have any right to be harsh to others. You were both very beautiful, inside out. Thank you for being our joy despite what you have been going through. Here’s to hoping our everyday struggle will make this world a better place — deserving of people like you.

Cheers to the new year ahead!