(Because I rarely post, I’d be posting some entries I wrote earlier this week.)
11 August 2016
The greatest flaw you could ever commit when it comes to loving someone is to be blind of all their flaws. There is a clear distinction between accepting and turning a blind eye. Do not, I repeat, do not be blind. I understand the importance of acceptance as I agree that light can still set on broken windows. However, to pretend that everything is perfect as it is means you’re being a fool. I understand too that there comes a point when we should concede that some things can no longer be fixed but that doesn’t mean we don’t try.
But here I am, being ironic or maybe even a hypocrite. Trust me when I say I am not pretending that everything is okay. No. I simply conceded to the fact that you will not be fixed not because I’m not trying but because you don’t want to be fixed. You’re stubborn – and stubborn people are the hardest to deal with especially for someone like me who doesn’t have the heart, the passion, and the energy to save people. I have learned the hard way that you can only save yourself. Only you can fix yourself. One day, you will also realize that you are your own hero. And if you already know this but are still not doing anything to fix the shit that you’re in, then I don’t have any solution left for you. I will just wait for the waters to drown you or for the lightning to hit you. I’m pretty sure you’re not going to do anything about anything because you’re either lazy, stupid, or cynical. And if you’re still in a mess and you’re already affecting more than yourself, you’re also most probably selfish.
I am not in the position to judge each person who’s broken and is sulking in their brokenness. I have been there. I’ve been that person who didn’t do anything about it and it wasn’t because I was lazy, or stupid. Maybe I was cynical at one point, conceding that there is nothing else I could do but I came around. I know that sometimes, people shut down and it’s not because they don’t want to do anything about it but because they simply can’t. The feeling of helplessness can be crippling, I know that.
But you, you’re a different case. You’re not crippled because of sadness. You are a different kind of broken. You choose to break yourself and to remain so when you can fix things. You didn’t bother sweeping the broken glass – instead, you let people like me step on them. You let others get hurt from your inability and excuses on why you want it to remain the way it is.
And yes, I do take it against you. When the time comes that you step on your own fragments and bleed, I hope you remember all the other people who trudged that road and got hurt. I hope that when that happens, you throw those broken pieces out instead of your feeble temporary cures to your wounds.