Catharsis 0.012

I keep telling myself I don’t have time for emotions. That I don’t have time to feel bad or to get hurt because of the amount of things I have to do. But for my own sake, I have to.

I’m tired of allowing myself to be vulnerable to people who take advantage of the fact that they do know what hurts you and that they’d use it against you every time they want to feel good about themselves. If you’re an asshole seeking for self-validation, stop feeding on other people’s insecurities. How much of a hypocrite are you labeling someone as such when it was you all along who does that sort of thing?

I’m sorry, did I hear you right? You hurt people intentionally just to stop yourself from getting hurt? Did you just say you love that person you’re hurting intentionally? You must be one sick bastard.

I’m done denying to myself that this will end somewhere. It won’t. Not with that attitude, at least. And if there’s anything I can promise myself, it’s not to bargain anymore but just go through depression and finally acceptance of where the fuck this is going.

I’m tired of people who don’t give a fuck about my emotions. I’m tired. I’m really really fucking tired.