Ten hours

Ten hours. I’ve been waiting for a goddamn good explanation for ten hours. And counting.

I want to hate you, I really really do. I guess I’m starting to do so. Maybe it’s easier this way… being all bitter and angry instead of being vulnerable. At least, this way, I can numb myself and do the right thing: end this.

You never left my mind. It’s not, sadly, because I kept thinking of wonderful memories we had. No, all the good times left me already. Right now, the only thing I’m waiting for is your explanation. Your answers. I guess, this is the last time I will. After a number of feeble attempts to leave, I find myself wanting to. I find myself regretting. Perhaps, had I met someone else, someone who respects me more, I would have been happier. But screw what ifs. We all know that they’re never going to happen.

I want to leave you. You tore me apart. I find myself in such a mess I can’t fix. I find myself extremely weak, how you’re the only one who can’t fix me. How I can’t even fix myself. Except for one solution: leave.

All those things I had to deal with… everything you put me through. What you are, who you are, everything. You caused me pain you can’t imagine. Perhaps, if you lose me, maybe you’d get to fix yourself. Maybe you’d be better off without me. Maybe we weren’t really meant to be.

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