It’s the middle of June and I haven’t written a single word — nothing about entering relationships, or eating jellyfish, or playing childish games. Probably, if it were the normal schedule of my life, I would be in school and then go home with a new thought in mind. But that’s not the case.
The world is cruel. I dare not say more but every bit of me is aching, wanting to tell what’s unfair to be told. For almost twenty years, I saw the beauty of the world through you. You were my sanctuary. I was proud I never had problems like most kids. Home was the place to be. I’ve always looked up to you, thinking one day, I’d be just like that too.
But again, the world is cruel. I thought everything was pretty okay. Reality hits, and well, it screws up what you thought was magnificent.
It’d be unfair for me to judge you for that mistake I know nothing of — the context, the repercussions, the aftermath. I know nothing. All I know now is that she was strong. She was hurt but she was strong. And for the past weeks, the pain probably recurred but I know she forgave you. And she trusts you still. All I know is that she didn’t want us to know because she wants us to know the beauty of that love. Because she was the first to tell me what love really is.
Your once perfect image is now tainted. I no longer know how to deal with things. What if it happens to me too? Will I stay or will I go? How do I trust when that fear’s eating me up? I hope one day I get to forgive you the way she has. I hope one day, I’d forget about what happened.
* * *
I wouldn’t want to tell you what this is because I want your respect for him the same way I still do. No one knows the full story except him, I guess.
* * *
In time, I will forget.
In time, I will forgive.
But now, I still love.