I didn’t need to shout
No one needed to hear
I wouldn’t admit it even if they did find out
I would have lied and just drowned myself in beer.
Because I loved you for all that you were
For all that you never were
I love you even if I’m broken to pieces
Allowing you despite the pain for a few kisses
It was never okay
I would never have accepted it
I let it happen because I wanted you to stay
The deeper you wanted to go, the more the pain hit
Do I blame you?
Or do I blame myself for not being strong enough?
“No”, I told you
But I guess my screams weren’t loud enough.
My dear, I always ask, “why?”
It was worse than being beaten black and blue
It was worse than a lie
It was a sin but I forgave you
The sunflowers you ruined
The traces you left
They’d always be there
Just like how you ruined me
And have scarred me to death.