Helianthus

I didn’t need to shout

No one needed to hear

I wouldn’t admit it even if they did find out

I would have lied and just drowned myself in beer.

Because I loved you for all that you were

For all that you never were

I love you even if I’m broken to pieces

Allowing you despite the pain for a few kisses

It was never okay

I would never have accepted it

I let it happen because I wanted you to stay

The deeper you wanted to go, the more the pain hit

Do I blame you?

Or do I blame myself for not being strong enough?

“No”, I told you

But I guess my screams weren’t loud enough.

My dear, I always ask, “why?”

It was worse than being beaten black and blue

It was worse than a lie

It was a sin but I forgave you

The sunflowers you ruined

The traces you left

They’d always be there

Just like how you ruined me

And have scarred me to death.

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