15 minutes ago.

I probably wouldn’t be feeling this way if not for the rain. What a pathetic excuse. Sure, the gloomy weather could be a factor why I feel empty. Although on second thought? Not really.

Should I recount how many flings/relationships bloomed during August/September? Or I think the number of rants I had about guys would prove it?

Third year high school, with this debater.

Fourth year high school, with a now ex.

First year college, with a guy who I never got to talk to again.

Second year college, with a jerk I regret flirting with.

So how did I end up blaming the rain? You’re there, right? You were supposed to be this loyal golden retriever who just won’t stop badgering me until we get back. Sort of. I have no idea what happened today. Was it because you figured I needed to miss you? Or maybe you were just too preoccupied with life that you forgot to annoy me?

And oh before I proceed, I’m sorry for comparing you to a dog. :) Not really.

Whatever your reason is, keep it. I think I’m good now, after those many times I accepted your excuses and you refused to accept mine. I think we both had enough of arguing, how senseless my arguments were, and how narrow-minded I was for not seeing how your lame excuses made perfect sense. That’s too cliche now, huh? So what’s it this time?

I don’t want to hear it anymore. Actually, I do. But I realized I’m too tired of this vicious cycle, and it’s time for me to collapse it, despite the fact that the result would be surprising. After all, I got used to the n days you took care of me, how you got concerned, even if that concern didn’t get that far. It’d be all new to me again. You got me getting used to being pampered, somehow — even if you were insensitive, well a wee bit less than I am.

So what’s it with the rain again? Nothing, really. It’s just that the gloom stayed because no one was there to shove it off.

It doesn’t matter now. I’m waiting for someone else. Someone who probably cares less, someone who’s just a face I see everyday. A name I hear out of random jokes.

Everything started with a simple “Hi.”

I’m waiting for mine now. Though he was online minutes ago. Maybe next time.