So I was supposed to write a blog in Filipino to get myself motivated to do my final paper in Fil 40…
Why didn’t I? Because I don’t want to write in Taglish. Because blogging should be “flowy” (you are able to write what’s in your mind easily). Because I suck at writing in Filipino. It would turn out to be too formal and unnatural. There. Unnecessary thing to write but again, I write what’s on my mind, right?
Nope. I don’t. Well, not exactly.
I write what I think or feel but not quite. More often than not, I write to confuse — to confuse you because of my ambiguity or to confuse myself more as I submerge myself into my chaotic thoughts.
I wasn’t supposed to write those. As always. I open my blog to write about something else but my hands typed the the thoughts I was still trying to organize. It turns out to be messy and totally unrelated. For example, I was supposed to write something on how the past affects us despite the premise that looking back to your past is not tantamount to living in your past. For God’s sake it wasn’t even my past to begin with. But still I get affected. Which is just stupid. But not unreasonable. No, I refuse to believe anything is unreasonable. We all have our reasons, just not enough words or courage to speak it out.
As much as I would like to dwell on what I was supposed to originally write (seeing that I made a transition already), I’d rather do my paper now so I can study for my two exams on Tuesday.