Obscure judgments?

After trying to distract myself for hours with the hope of getting posterous to work, I decided to give it one last try, refreshed the page and voila, I am now free (to an extent) to write these thoughts I’ve been holding for hours. (Thanks to Marie Jamora’s vimeo, I sort of got distracted. Woohoo. Landmark graduates talaga, so amazing.♥)

I hate ranting about work because 1) I applied, 2) I accepted the position avec all the hardships/stress there is, and 3) I lead (supposedly). So yeah, I pretty much have no right to complain. Well okay, what I’m going to write (rant) isn’t exactly work related. To be fair, I’m experiencing less stress working (before, I had to really push myself to do something and squeeze all creative juice I could). By working, I mean opening the Photoshop/ After Effects and painting out my ideas. That, I enjoy despite my eyes getting strained and my head aching daily. By working, it does not necessarily encompass people and all the thinking I have to undergo before being able to get myself together and actually start doing it.

Side note: In order for you not to be mislead by above’s statement, I’d assure you that I love how understanding and sensitive some people could be. They’d be able to tell you to take a break from work when you’re the one who’s pressuring yourself to meet your own deadline. These make things lighter.

Back to the jumbled thoughts.

I am expecting (lol, bad to expect but Econ 101 said rational expectations and this is a rational. RIGHT??) you to also accept all those stuff related to your work. This includes criticisms. Trust me, I have been doing pub/creatives work for years (“allow me to brag” (Uy, 2008) hahahaha) and I do know how shitty it is when you’re so proud of your work but someone would tell you to change this or that (especially when that person can’t even do what you’re doing). But it’s part of the work. I repeat, it’s part of the work. Almost all the “annoying” things are. You have to change your work even if you’re contented with it already, even if you’re tired of thinking, even if you have no idea how you’re going to edit it, even if you badly want to tell the person “bitch, why don’t you edit it yourself”, even if you have other things to do which you’ll postpone because this is more ‘urgent’, even if you really want to retain your ideas but some bastard’s imposing his. So here’s an advice: when you don’t like being told what to do, when you hate it when someone’s asking you to change your work, PROVE THEM WRONG. Don’t give up the moment they tell you that you have to revise it. Make them see the light. And if they still can’t, well, you need to bargain. Compromise. (And when you’re badass enough to do it, defy. But HAHAHAHAHA, try to do the defying to me….. :) ) People, though, they usually “see the light” especially when others would also tell them the same thing you said. Not everyone’s that narrow-minded, you know.

Side note: Compromise works, not blackmail. It’s bargaining, not threatening. And you know, you just can’t threaten me about doing this or that because helloooo, if you’ve noticed… nvm, enough egocentricity in one post)

So there. I hope you know that because I do know how shitty it gets, I’m not that type to waste someone’s effort. I’m not that person who’d change everything. I’m bossy like hell yes, but I rarely impose. I often ask others’ ideas because I value them. However, no matter how much I value your idea, learn these two vital concepts: the concept of NO and the concept of TRUST.

Let’s talk about the first. No. What does no mean? When I say no, does it mean that I’m thinking less of you? No, it doesn’t. No is just no, it doesn’t have to be interpreted to anything else. When I say no, it just means I’m rejecting your suggestion or whatever it is. It never meant I’m rejecting your being. Also, understand that the word no isn’t constant. A ‘no’ today could be a ‘yes’ tomorrow. When I say no, learn to accept it. But don’t give up. Know the difference when to do so.

Now, trusting. It is difficult, of course. I barely trust. It’s this one thing I can’t easily give. This is the main reason why I hate working in groups. I hate the idea of having to depend on someone and trusting them, leaving everything unknown to you. But of course, I end up trusting (and getting tortured every minute because I am oblivious to what is happening to the world hahaha). I trust even if my mind cringes at the idea of it. Yes, I hate trusting. I don’t trust. Whatever way you want to say it, I will not sugarcoat it because I really do hate it hahaha. But guess what! This job requires trusting. It’s in the package. Take it or leave it. You can’t survive without trusting your members. If the end result isn’t what you expected, well, do the work. But remember, you couldn’t, right? So deal with it.

Just to get the main thought straight out of the incoherent words:

I need you to stop acting like I’m some heartless bitch who doesn’t know how to work with people. I know how suckish it is having all your efforts go to waste so even if the most hated person submits her work to me and I didn’t like it, I’d retain the idea so as not to wash away all your efforts. I know how difficult the job is. I could be a bitch, but trust me (and that’s just what you ought to do), I still have a heart.

I still am capable of understanding even if you’re such a prick and you keep on wanting to have your way. Hello, even if I’m annoyed, I’d still tell you to meet me up and talk about work. I don’t just start work without those whom I think are necessary to be involved. (If you still don’t get it, here’s the very unsubtle version: I very much despise your lack of judgment last Friday. Sure, very smart to start work without me. Dafuq was that 8-| )

I could be very biased. But see, I could still reason out well. And this reasoning makes my bias the reason to question, not to reject.

On other news: I have no idea how our deep conversations before turned to be nonsense now. It’s like I can’t even maintain a good conversation with you. You’re always so distracted. And you give very pathetic (exagg but meh) answers like woah, I know you enough to understand that you’re lacking interest/ you’re not in the mood to talk to me. Which is more like everyday now. Haha.

PS: I hate the emoticon “:P” It’s just so insincere. :P