I’m not really into this type of thing but I’d do it anyway.
I would have repeated the title but I don’t want to since I’m not into doing it. But anyway, what I meant was about writing what happened. Hahaha.
I usually stay at home and read and eat and surf the net and — well, you get the idea. It’s just pure sloth. Today, however, I stayed out of home, didn’t open any book, but yeah, I still ate, and the rest of the daily routine was present. (Duh, that’s why it’s daily routine)
Okay, so let me start with when I woke up (because starting at 12AM of today would be a long story; plus it’s not mine to tell). So. I woke up early (HOORAY) and went to UP to enroll. I was early, really. So then, I was asked to give my form 5a, ID, and old form 5. Apparently, I forgot the last. And so did Jeh. Hahaha. So we went to OUR and tada!! LONG LINE. Of course, we had to fall in line. After gajillion of minutes, we finally got our form 5 and blah blah blah enrolled and then back to OUR with surprisingly no line so we paid our tuition fast. (another hooray) Then I met up with Arrah and…okay never mind. HAHAHAHA. HE’s just so amazing I can’t even… Anyway. Hahaha. I went home…almost. I went to Starbucks and met up with a high school friend and heard the most amazing story ever. Who’d ever know, after long drama in our high school, she’d get all the blessings in another? So I congratulate you awesome person for being valedictorian! Three cheers! After the long stories, I went home.
I know it does not sound interesting (at all) but whatever you say, it was such a nice day. I got home early and then opened my twitter and saw a friend posting that her grades are complete. And then boom!! She’s my classmate (I forgot) so that means I have my grade in Math 100 as well. And yes, I was happy. Alright, here goes the realization:
I was expecting I’d reach my goal this semester. (Okay, I really really felt I deserved being a US after all those sleepless nights, sacrificces, and almost living in the library everyday as the sem’s end approached, that’s why.) I did, of course. Like I said, I was expecting it. I was thinking however, how bad expecting is. It’s cliche, you know, that one should not expect so as not to get disappointed. To be fair, I don’t expect without basis. I knew. An extremely grade-conscious person like me would have computed my grades long before. And so I knew. And so, to this certain subject I still can’t get over with, I expected a 1.5 to a 1.75 grade. The prof didn’t have a grading system, she just told us she doesn’t give 1.00 cause it’s sacred and all. But okay, know what? One shouldn’t give that thought on the very first day of class. I mean look at the effect. Everyone wants that grade. So by telling us you don’t give that, an average reasonable person wouldn’t aim for that anymore.Para mo na ring sinabing, class, wag na kayo magsikap sa klase ko, hindi rin naman kayo makaka-uno. I know, I know, my interpretations. But still, as a professor, you should not, at all, crumple hope on the first day. Why not let your students aim high? So I turned my expectations to numbers, having the performance of other people as basis. Which you know, I think was fair. But of course, my basis wasn’t exactly perfect because I don’t have HER grading system legit. So I’d have to do fair estimations, right? And of course, that’s what I did. The results? My estimations were wrong (or rather my basis was). And I got annoyed because I expected a different result. So okay, end of story. (If you want to know who this prof it, I’d tell you HAHAHA) (Last comment: It’s just so frustrating how she’d give you a LOW grade, with NO BASIS, even after you did your best in her exams. UGH, Okay, done. :) )
I checked my fb again and talked with a math classmate congratulating him for attaining that grade he wanted. And he asked me if I was US, I said yes and I asked him if he did. His answer? No comment. Bullshit, I know. But okay, he doesn’t want to brag, I’d give him that. I refreshed the page because my connection got lost and I saw this status of a batchmate about how silence does not always equate to yes. Sometimes, it’s just that we do not want to hurt. The first thing that came in to my mind was how he always kept quiet. I remembered how Al in the book Why We Broke Up would always say he doesn’t have an opinion. Now, tell me again, is there any situation wherein silence means no?
There would always be a time of course that it’d mean no. But I bet it’s equivalent to a yes. Okay, I know you wouldn’t get into how my brain works but that’s just what I think. And know what else? I think that people who think it’s more humble, or those who think it’d be better to give silence instead of an answer are not being genuine. At all.